Sunday, November 4, 2007
now what?
i had to do it...i had to see.. i needed to know..even though it shouldnt have mattered..it could have been forgiven...but i had to see for myself..and when i did, something broke inside..
Monday, June 18, 2007
Ceramah pengurusan cinta dan cinta zaman sekarang
Tak lama dulu, saya mendengar ceramah bertajuk pengurusan cinta. Ustaz mana, tak pasti, tapi ikut suara agaknya dia agak muda juga. Bagus ceramah dia. Minta maaf klu sy tak dapat nak share kat internet sebab kurang reti men'share' file suara.
Apa yang sy belajar dari situ, cinta ni memang normal, indah dan dilalui semua orang. Bila bincang agam, terus akan teringat cinta Ilahi. Masa lain, mostly, agaknyalah, atau mungkin sy je anggap begitu, akan terfikir cinta antara lelaki dan perempuan.
Antara contoh yg sy suka, ustaz tu cerita bila ada org bagitau seorang sahabat Nabi bahawa anaknya jatuh cinta dengan seorang perempuan, reaksi sahabat itu ialah dengan mengatakan "Alhamdulillah, anakku telah mengikut fitrah yg betul"..er..lebih kuranglah. Atau "Alhamdulillah, normal anak aku nih". Ada lagi contoh2 yang best, tapi sy takut off-topic.
Apapun, kesimpulan yang ustaz tu cadangkan kat orang yang jatuh cinta ni, kalau anda benar2 jatuh cinta pun, sebaik2nya rahsiakanlah dari perempuan (sori,sy nak guna situasi sy) itu, supaya tak terganggu fikiran dia. Kalau terganggu susah, bayangkan solat dia tak khusyuk, terlalai ke, lambat sebab fikirkan kita atau masalah yang kita bawa.
Kalau nak cerita, ceritakanlah kepada orang yang boleh dipercayai, yang boleh simpan rahsia ke..
Saya sendiri pernah mengalami perasaan 'suka' pada seseorang. Pada usia mencecah 23 ni, dengan pengalaman belajar dalam suasana co-ed lebih kurang 8 tahun, ini perkara biasa. Bukan sekali, tetapi berkali-kali. Kalau nak kira, susah juga, ada yang setakat perasaan yang terbawa2, sekali sahaja yang serious sungguh saya, sehingga saya pernah approach dia, masyaAllah..
Alhamdulillah, tak jadi apa2 antara kami. Mungkin ketika itu saya pun baru mengenal perempuan, dan perasaan sebegitu, dan sy belum cukup matang lagi. Mengorat pun tak reti, hehe.
Itu cerita dulu. Balik ke topik asal, cinta tetap menjadi masalah untuk rakan-rakan dan sy sendiri. Sebagai contoh:
Ada sepasang rakan sy yang dah 4 tahun berkenan sesama sendiri. Tetapi family mereka di malaysia tidak membenarkan mereka berkahwin lagi, alasannya banyak - mereka masih belajar- perlu concentrate, susah menjaga anak jika 'ter'beranak, susah nak kumpul family,
Duit tak ada untuk biaya majlis (agaknye, lojik saja sebab majlis kahwin 2 doktor, masyarakat kita mesti meng'expect' majlis besar-besaran, kalau tak ada insan kasihan yang akan mengata dan mendapat dosa free, family pulak jatuh muka)
Nak kahwin di sini pun tak boleh, family tak ada sini, jauh sangat. Bukan senang untuk mereka kahwin, kerana restu belum ada.
Dari segi perhubungan, 2-2 family dah tahu perhubungan mereka. Mereka semua orang baik. Pelajaran agama dan amalannya mereka faham dan ikut.
Tapi saya pelik dengan satu perkara, family mereka pula yang galakkan mereka bercouple. Sebab senang kot. Couple yang direstui keluarga. Nak tunang pun tak nak, sebab takut rapat sangat agaknya. Tetapi, mereka memang dah rapat pun. Perasaan cinta antara mereka dah tertanam kuat, 3 tahun lamanya.
Memang, saya yakin, insyaAllah mereka boleh jaga diri mereka baik2, elak terterlanjur atau apa2. Tetapi bahagianain sudah kurang terjaga. Mereka sudah selalu berdua-duaan, selalu bersama. Sekali tengok, macam dah berkahwin.
Sebenarnya ramai je yang macam ni, malah lagi teruk pun ada. Tapi pasangan ni saya kenal rapat, dan saya tau mereka baik, dari banyak segi - sifat, akhlak, pengetahuan agama.
Di tempat saya, ramai je yang dah 'cop' pasangan mereka begini. Secara personal, saya tak setuju. Tapi saya faham susahnya nak elakkan perasaan macam, jadi saya tak dapat nak tegur.agipun takde gunanya saya tegur kalau tak membantu, malah membuat mereka anti terhadap saya.
Setakat ni hanya sepasang sahaja yang sudah berkahwin, Alhamdulillah, kerana mereka takut bercinta lama2 tanpa hubungan nikah.
Tapi bagaimana pula dengan mereka yang berlainan umur? Kalau kahwin pun terpaksa berpisah bertahun2. Susah di sini, gaji kerja rendah dan visa pun susah.
Rakan saya, seorang sudah bertunang dengan orang malaysia. Dia seorang yang baik, tunangnya pun tak kurang juga. masing2 berkebolehan menjadi da'ie yang hebat. Tetapi pertunangan mereka bertahun2, tak ada tarikh tetap perkahwinan. Rakan saya sendiri pun kata mungkin 2-3 tahun lepas graduate baru kahwin, tapi entahla, mungkin terus lepas belajar kalau ada rezeki, tetapi masih lama. Sudahnya dia sekarang lebih kerap ber-sms, chatting dan macam2 lagi lah cara lain mengcontact tunang dia. Sy tak tau betul ke tak cara ni. Kalau sebelum bertunang ni, kalau nak berjiwang2 pun dia sendiri2, sekarang dia bercinta dengan tunang dia.
Ada saja yang cuba elak bercinta, tapi tak taula, ada yang mencari tapi tak dapat kot, ada yang layan perempuan macam orang bercinta, tetapi tak mengaku, kata kawan saja, ambil adik angkat la, entahla, mungkin perasaan saya saja, sebab sy takkan cakap sebegitu, tapi untuk mereka itu perkara biasa. Zaman ini, kita boleh cakap terus je kalau ada apa2. Selagi tak, cakap je la apa saja apa salahnya- lebih kurang macamtula kata rakan saya.
Nampaknya sudah panjang sangat sy melalut. Sekadar renungan saya, harap2 takde yang sakit hati kalau terbaca, saya tak harap nak mengumpat atau nak mengata, mengutuk sesape, rakan2 atau orang asing. Cuma saya rasa boleh diambil pengajaran, dan dicari penyelesaian kalau ada sesape yang boleh membantu
Sekian
Apa yang sy belajar dari situ, cinta ni memang normal, indah dan dilalui semua orang. Bila bincang agam, terus akan teringat cinta Ilahi. Masa lain, mostly, agaknyalah, atau mungkin sy je anggap begitu, akan terfikir cinta antara lelaki dan perempuan.
Antara contoh yg sy suka, ustaz tu cerita bila ada org bagitau seorang sahabat Nabi bahawa anaknya jatuh cinta dengan seorang perempuan, reaksi sahabat itu ialah dengan mengatakan "Alhamdulillah, anakku telah mengikut fitrah yg betul"..er..lebih kuranglah. Atau "Alhamdulillah, normal anak aku nih". Ada lagi contoh2 yang best, tapi sy takut off-topic.
Apapun, kesimpulan yang ustaz tu cadangkan kat orang yang jatuh cinta ni, kalau anda benar2 jatuh cinta pun, sebaik2nya rahsiakanlah dari perempuan (sori,sy nak guna situasi sy) itu, supaya tak terganggu fikiran dia. Kalau terganggu susah, bayangkan solat dia tak khusyuk, terlalai ke, lambat sebab fikirkan kita atau masalah yang kita bawa.
Kalau nak cerita, ceritakanlah kepada orang yang boleh dipercayai, yang boleh simpan rahsia ke..
Saya sendiri pernah mengalami perasaan 'suka' pada seseorang. Pada usia mencecah 23 ni, dengan pengalaman belajar dalam suasana co-ed lebih kurang 8 tahun, ini perkara biasa. Bukan sekali, tetapi berkali-kali. Kalau nak kira, susah juga, ada yang setakat perasaan yang terbawa2, sekali sahaja yang serious sungguh saya, sehingga saya pernah approach dia, masyaAllah..
Alhamdulillah, tak jadi apa2 antara kami. Mungkin ketika itu saya pun baru mengenal perempuan, dan perasaan sebegitu, dan sy belum cukup matang lagi. Mengorat pun tak reti, hehe.
Itu cerita dulu. Balik ke topik asal, cinta tetap menjadi masalah untuk rakan-rakan dan sy sendiri. Sebagai contoh:
Ada sepasang rakan sy yang dah 4 tahun berkenan sesama sendiri. Tetapi family mereka di malaysia tidak membenarkan mereka berkahwin lagi, alasannya banyak - mereka masih belajar- perlu concentrate, susah menjaga anak jika 'ter'beranak, susah nak kumpul family,
Duit tak ada untuk biaya majlis (agaknye, lojik saja sebab majlis kahwin 2 doktor, masyarakat kita mesti meng'expect' majlis besar-besaran, kalau tak ada insan kasihan yang akan mengata dan mendapat dosa free, family pulak jatuh muka)
Nak kahwin di sini pun tak boleh, family tak ada sini, jauh sangat. Bukan senang untuk mereka kahwin, kerana restu belum ada.
Dari segi perhubungan, 2-2 family dah tahu perhubungan mereka. Mereka semua orang baik. Pelajaran agama dan amalannya mereka faham dan ikut.
Tapi saya pelik dengan satu perkara, family mereka pula yang galakkan mereka bercouple. Sebab senang kot. Couple yang direstui keluarga. Nak tunang pun tak nak, sebab takut rapat sangat agaknya. Tetapi, mereka memang dah rapat pun. Perasaan cinta antara mereka dah tertanam kuat, 3 tahun lamanya.
Memang, saya yakin, insyaAllah mereka boleh jaga diri mereka baik2, elak terterlanjur atau apa2. Tetapi bahagianain sudah kurang terjaga. Mereka sudah selalu berdua-duaan, selalu bersama. Sekali tengok, macam dah berkahwin.
Sebenarnya ramai je yang macam ni, malah lagi teruk pun ada. Tapi pasangan ni saya kenal rapat, dan saya tau mereka baik, dari banyak segi - sifat, akhlak, pengetahuan agama.
Di tempat saya, ramai je yang dah 'cop' pasangan mereka begini. Secara personal, saya tak setuju. Tapi saya faham susahnya nak elakkan perasaan macam, jadi saya tak dapat nak tegur.agipun takde gunanya saya tegur kalau tak membantu, malah membuat mereka anti terhadap saya.
Setakat ni hanya sepasang sahaja yang sudah berkahwin, Alhamdulillah, kerana mereka takut bercinta lama2 tanpa hubungan nikah.
Tapi bagaimana pula dengan mereka yang berlainan umur? Kalau kahwin pun terpaksa berpisah bertahun2. Susah di sini, gaji kerja rendah dan visa pun susah.
Rakan saya, seorang sudah bertunang dengan orang malaysia. Dia seorang yang baik, tunangnya pun tak kurang juga. masing2 berkebolehan menjadi da'ie yang hebat. Tetapi pertunangan mereka bertahun2, tak ada tarikh tetap perkahwinan. Rakan saya sendiri pun kata mungkin 2-3 tahun lepas graduate baru kahwin, tapi entahla, mungkin terus lepas belajar kalau ada rezeki, tetapi masih lama. Sudahnya dia sekarang lebih kerap ber-sms, chatting dan macam2 lagi lah cara lain mengcontact tunang dia. Sy tak tau betul ke tak cara ni. Kalau sebelum bertunang ni, kalau nak berjiwang2 pun dia sendiri2, sekarang dia bercinta dengan tunang dia.
Ada saja yang cuba elak bercinta, tapi tak taula, ada yang mencari tapi tak dapat kot, ada yang layan perempuan macam orang bercinta, tetapi tak mengaku, kata kawan saja, ambil adik angkat la, entahla, mungkin perasaan saya saja, sebab sy takkan cakap sebegitu, tapi untuk mereka itu perkara biasa. Zaman ini, kita boleh cakap terus je kalau ada apa2. Selagi tak, cakap je la apa saja apa salahnya- lebih kurang macamtula kata rakan saya.
Nampaknya sudah panjang sangat sy melalut. Sekadar renungan saya, harap2 takde yang sakit hati kalau terbaca, saya tak harap nak mengumpat atau nak mengata, mengutuk sesape, rakan2 atau orang asing. Cuma saya rasa boleh diambil pengajaran, dan dicari penyelesaian kalau ada sesape yang boleh membantu
Sekian
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
tests
We were walking down the road, talking, laughing as usual, when suddenly we stopped. We had seen something we shouldnt see, and after that unfortunate moment our eyes were averting elsewhere. I managed to catch a glimpse of the russian girls queringly looking at us as if we did something unusuał (i bet we were, and our faces were those of a shocked expression), and then laughed as they passed by. Alhamdulillah, we were tested, and i was rather proud of my friends' reaction. I hope that we could be strong enough to stop ourselves from seeing that which is haram for us, here in this foreign land, and even later anywhere else.
The muslimahs have their own test of faith. One thing i keep reading about in their blogs, was how every russian, men, women, old and children, seem to look at them, asking them questions and persuading them to take off their hijabs and aurat covering clothes in favour of those western, tight and revealing 'clothes' they're so proud of.
No matter what you wear, it'll still be hot and uncomfortable.
I am thankful that i could find out about this through their blogs. I never would have known before this. Be strong my sisters. Dont give heed to what they say. Our path is the straight path, one that is clear without doubt.
As for me, I'll try to keep my eyes in the other direction. I'll try my best to wear proper myself. Recently, since about last year, I started wearing an extra collared shirt when it's hot, so that i wouldnt burden others' eyes with the sweat on my back. It's nothing compared with people telling you to take off your hijab, and it doesnt make much of a difference, nothing to be proud of. But i'll try dressing smarter, as i too am a muslim, and i too want to be a good example of a muslim, in appearance, manner, and way of life.
The muslimahs have their own test of faith. One thing i keep reading about in their blogs, was how every russian, men, women, old and children, seem to look at them, asking them questions and persuading them to take off their hijabs and aurat covering clothes in favour of those western, tight and revealing 'clothes' they're so proud of.
No matter what you wear, it'll still be hot and uncomfortable.
I am thankful that i could find out about this through their blogs. I never would have known before this. Be strong my sisters. Dont give heed to what they say. Our path is the straight path, one that is clear without doubt.
As for me, I'll try to keep my eyes in the other direction. I'll try my best to wear proper myself. Recently, since about last year, I started wearing an extra collared shirt when it's hot, so that i wouldnt burden others' eyes with the sweat on my back. It's nothing compared with people telling you to take off your hijab, and it doesnt make much of a difference, nothing to be proud of. But i'll try dressing smarter, as i too am a muslim, and i too want to be a good example of a muslim, in appearance, manner, and way of life.
Monday, May 28, 2007
thinking..
People think too much. I think too much. But some things we still wont get, no matter how much we think about it. Wallahualam, maybe it's Allah s.w.t's will, his test and also his mercy - since we get no answer, we have to be satisfied with our own answers,and respect others' opinions ; since no one thinks alike, we get to choose what we think is best for us, while His prophets (p.b.u.t.) and the religion they bring guides us to what's wrong and what's right.
What I'm about to tell is purely my opinion, and is not something i ask you to follow, nor do i think it's best or better for you, or anyone.
I've always been wondering about romantic relationshps before marriage. Almost everyone my age group I know thinks about it every once in a while. Lumrah alam.
My opinion? Although it's hard, I dont want it to happen. Because I think it's not right.(of course you'll know if you read my previous posts).
But some thinngs can make shake this foundation i made. Things like a sudden crush, competition, the feeling that the other party might like me too, and yet again, my nafs; and finally - I had to add this - that fear that i might lose out on the love of my life.*sigh* It's not easy being a bachelor for too long.
About losing chances, i think i have lost a lot of them. Many of my crushes are not simply that. I knew them, had loads of chances to contact them, connect with them, but most of the time i didnt. I could have come up to them and speak up. I could have contact them through sms, email, YM, the works, but i didnt think long distance relationships are likely to last. I could have tried harder, what Malays say 'tackle' the girls. But each time, Alhamdulillah I kept thinking that it's wrong. There were chances when i could have been together with them, just the 2 of us, so that we could know each other, for instance recently I nearly sat near a girl, because there were no more places in the bus to the destination (which took hours). But I didn't. Some people might think i might regret these things, but no, when i think about it, I don't. Someone teased me, saying I'm just too scared. In a way, I am scared. I fear what muslims should fear. Never think of other fears. I believe I have none. If people still want to think so, so be it. There was a time when I was less fearful of Allah, when I actually did 'mengorat' someone. But it was a long time ago. I was younger, and dumber both ways - in doing that, and in wooing a girl. Nevertheless the experience taught me a lot, and gave me time to think.
Why don't i regret them still, when people talk about missing chances? I think those are manipulative words of the non-believers. Some chances should never be missed, as time never goes back. But this is wrong. Believe in Allah, believe that it's best for us. Maybe that other person is not meant for us, maybe he or she is, but it isn't apparent yet. Don't think too much about it, as the Quran already states that good men are for good women and vice versa. Our current world is a test for us. Maybe we might not even meet our true partner now, but Allah has arranged that meeting later, if not in this world, then in the Hereafter. If you are sceptical while reading this, you might think this is sad, but if you truly believe, then this is what we truly desire, in malay - seorang bidadari syurga.
What I'm about to tell is purely my opinion, and is not something i ask you to follow, nor do i think it's best or better for you, or anyone.
I've always been wondering about romantic relationshps before marriage. Almost everyone my age group I know thinks about it every once in a while. Lumrah alam.
My opinion? Although it's hard, I dont want it to happen. Because I think it's not right.(of course you'll know if you read my previous posts).
But some thinngs can make shake this foundation i made. Things like a sudden crush, competition, the feeling that the other party might like me too, and yet again, my nafs; and finally - I had to add this - that fear that i might lose out on the love of my life.*sigh* It's not easy being a bachelor for too long.
About losing chances, i think i have lost a lot of them. Many of my crushes are not simply that. I knew them, had loads of chances to contact them, connect with them, but most of the time i didnt. I could have come up to them and speak up. I could have contact them through sms, email, YM, the works, but i didnt think long distance relationships are likely to last. I could have tried harder, what Malays say 'tackle' the girls. But each time, Alhamdulillah I kept thinking that it's wrong. There were chances when i could have been together with them, just the 2 of us, so that we could know each other, for instance recently I nearly sat near a girl, because there were no more places in the bus to the destination (which took hours). But I didn't. Some people might think i might regret these things, but no, when i think about it, I don't. Someone teased me, saying I'm just too scared. In a way, I am scared. I fear what muslims should fear. Never think of other fears. I believe I have none. If people still want to think so, so be it. There was a time when I was less fearful of Allah, when I actually did 'mengorat' someone. But it was a long time ago. I was younger, and dumber both ways - in doing that, and in wooing a girl. Nevertheless the experience taught me a lot, and gave me time to think.
Why don't i regret them still, when people talk about missing chances? I think those are manipulative words of the non-believers. Some chances should never be missed, as time never goes back. But this is wrong. Believe in Allah, believe that it's best for us. Maybe that other person is not meant for us, maybe he or she is, but it isn't apparent yet. Don't think too much about it, as the Quran already states that good men are for good women and vice versa. Our current world is a test for us. Maybe we might not even meet our true partner now, but Allah has arranged that meeting later, if not in this world, then in the Hereafter. If you are sceptical while reading this, you might think this is sad, but if you truly believe, then this is what we truly desire, in malay - seorang bidadari syurga.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
my eneagram
the ObserverThanks for taking the test !
you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE.
"I need to understand the world"
Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.
How to Get Along with Me
Be independent, not clingy.
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
don't come on like a bulldozer.
Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.
What I Like About Being a Five
standing back and viewing life objectively
coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
not being caught up in material possessions and status
being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five
being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often
spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
have a few special friends rather than many
are very bright and curious and do well in school
have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Fives as Parents
are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATEit...but remember! it had only twoquestions!!! ;-)
you wanna know MORE?so check out, what Wikipediasays about your type......even more you'll find in Google
or do you prefer to
You are not completely happy with the result?!You chose BZ
Would you rather have chosen:
AZ (THREE)
CZ (ONE)
BX (NINE)
BY (FOUR)
Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE.
"I need to understand the world"
Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.
How to Get Along with Me
Be independent, not clingy.
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
don't come on like a bulldozer.
Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.
What I Like About Being a Five
standing back and viewing life objectively
coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
not being caught up in material possessions and status
being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five
being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often
spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
have a few special friends rather than many
are very bright and curious and do well in school
have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Fives as Parents
are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATEit...but remember! it had only twoquestions!!! ;-)
you wanna know MORE?so check out, what Wikipediasays about your type......even more you'll find in Google
or do you prefer to
You are not completely happy with the result?!You chose BZ
Would you rather have chosen:
AZ (THREE)
CZ (ONE)
BX (NINE)
BY (FOUR)
Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
nn
april 8, 2007
i dont want to write mushy stuff like love
i dont want to write about my weaknesses
i dont want to sound too self absorbed and write too much about myself
i dont want to curse,condemn, criticize nor camplain about other people
i dont want to praise myself or others too much..except in jest..
i dont want to put anything not original too much.i want my own material,
i dont like putting lyrics or poems most of the time
so what should i put in my blog?
read it yourself
ps: i think i meant my other blog :p
i dont want to write mushy stuff like love
i dont want to write about my weaknesses
i dont want to sound too self absorbed and write too much about myself
i dont want to curse,condemn, criticize nor camplain about other people
i dont want to praise myself or others too much..except in jest..
i dont want to put anything not original too much.i want my own material,
i dont like putting lyrics or poems most of the time
so what should i put in my blog?
read it yourself
ps: i think i meant my other blog :p
Friday, May 4, 2007
mungkin
19 january- a time when writer's block made me write what i thought, but not really as beautifully as i had hoped . on my other blog it's drafted together with the previous post as "some things during the exams"
mungkin
mungkin lebih baik aku
membaca daripada menulis
berdiam mendengar daripada berkata
mencari daripada menyebarkan
menerima nasihat daripada memberi nasihat
tidur daripada melakukan perkara lain
menyendiri daripada berdakwah
berjenaka daripada serius
kerana
-kurangnya kemampuanku, ilmuku, lemahnya diri ini
-aku jadi takut dengan kehidupan dunia, kerana setiap kesalahan kita akan dikira, berapa kalikah aku membuat silap dalam sehari? sekecil2 terasa hati rakan2ku, kepada sebesar2 tidak puas hati rakanku juga, yang mungkin tidak memaafkanku...belum lagi kesalahan mata melihat yang tak elok, lidah yang berkata lebih dari berzikir, pemikiranku, etc etc, ya Allah ya tuhanku..
terang-terang disebut di dalam Al- Quran :-
"Maka sesiapa berbuat kebajikan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)!
Dan sesiapa berbuat kejahatan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)! " (al-zilzal 7-8)
-aku takut hatiku bertukar arah, memberi sesuatu bukan untuk akhirat, tetapi untuk dunia... mencari redha dan pujian manusia daripada keredhaan Allah
aku cuba menghayati ayat2 ini,
"Tetapi kamu memilih kehidupan dunia.Sedangkan akhirat itu lebih baik dan kekal" (al- a'la 17)
sungguhpun ada benar kata2 ini, ingatlah wahai diriku,
"Tuhanmu tidak meninggalkanmu dan Dia tidak benci ".(adh-dhuha 3) -- maka janganlah aku pula meninggalkan Tuhanku dan nauzubillah..
"Adapun nikmat Tuhanmu, maka hendaklah engkau sebut-sebutkan (dan zahirkan) sebagai bersyukur kepadaNya." - adh dhuha 11
"Iaitu, kamu beriman kepada Allah dan rasulNya, serta kamu berjuang membela dan menegakkan agama Allah dengan harta benda dan diri kamu; yang demikian itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu, jika kamu hendak mengetahui (hakikat yang sebenarnya)." (as-shaff 11)
"Oleh itu berilah peringatan (kepada umat manusia dengan ajaran Al-Quran), kalau-kalau peringatan itu berguna (dan sudah tentu berguna).Kerana orang yang takut (melanggar perintah Allah) akan menerima peringatan itu. Tetapi orang yang malang akan menjauhkan diri daripadanya" ( al- a'la 9-11)
bila difikirkan balik, manfaat memberi lebih baik daripada tidak memberi, kerana kita tetap hidup di dunia ini, bersama ramai orang lain yang mungkin memerlukan nasihat dan pertolongan kita
- penghayatan aku terhadap ayat ini tidak lengkap
"Tetapi kamu memilih kehidupan dunia.Sedangkan akhirat itu lebih baik dan kekal" (al- a'la 17)
ada baiknya membaca, berdiam, mencari, menerima nasihat, tidur, menyendiri, dan berjenaka.tetapi amal ibadahku boleh ditambah. pasti boleh. tentu boleh. InsyaAllah. jika tidak, diamku akan jadi diam sahaja,tidurku hanya akan jadi tidur...bukankah itu sudah memilih dunia juga?
nasihatilah aku, ingatkanlah aku...
my solution (maybe a resolution?) : tawakal.. 'bagaikan berjalan di atas bara api'.. perlahan2 dan berhati2, insyaAllah. bak kata jimi housemateku "slow- slow" (byk dia guna perkataan ni,hehe).
*atas permintaan sahabat juga, elemen da'wah yang kelihatan mcm da'wah sikit. da'wah itu mcm2. i think living as a muslim is already da'wah on it's own. 'berjenaka' might turn out to be my way of da'wah!
seorang sahabat pernah menanyaku, adakah bermanfaat dia meminta keampunan Allah, sedangkan kesilapan itu diulanginya berulang kali.
wahai sahabatku, tahukah engkau mengapa kita membaca al-Quran sedangkan kita tidak memahaminya?
setiap perkara pasti ada permulaan,
mungkin kita tidak nampak apa manfaatnya sekarang, tapi hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.
marilah kita terus berusaha,
insyaAllah satu hari nanti, akan makbul doa2 kami.
"Maka sesungguhnya tiap2 kesusahan disertai kemudahan.
sesungguhnya tiap2 kesusahan disertai kemudahan.kemudian apabila engkau telah selesai, maka bersungguh-sungguhlah engkau berusaha. Dan kepada Tuhanmu sahaja hendaklah engkau memohon (al- insyirah 5-8)"
mungkin
mungkin lebih baik aku
membaca daripada menulis
berdiam mendengar daripada berkata
mencari daripada menyebarkan
menerima nasihat daripada memberi nasihat
tidur daripada melakukan perkara lain
menyendiri daripada berdakwah
berjenaka daripada serius
kerana
-kurangnya kemampuanku, ilmuku, lemahnya diri ini
-aku jadi takut dengan kehidupan dunia, kerana setiap kesalahan kita akan dikira, berapa kalikah aku membuat silap dalam sehari? sekecil2 terasa hati rakan2ku, kepada sebesar2 tidak puas hati rakanku juga, yang mungkin tidak memaafkanku...belum lagi kesalahan mata melihat yang tak elok, lidah yang berkata lebih dari berzikir, pemikiranku, etc etc, ya Allah ya tuhanku..
terang-terang disebut di dalam Al- Quran :-
"Maka sesiapa berbuat kebajikan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)!
Dan sesiapa berbuat kejahatan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)! " (al-zilzal 7-8)
-aku takut hatiku bertukar arah, memberi sesuatu bukan untuk akhirat, tetapi untuk dunia... mencari redha dan pujian manusia daripada keredhaan Allah
aku cuba menghayati ayat2 ini,
"Tetapi kamu memilih kehidupan dunia.Sedangkan akhirat itu lebih baik dan kekal" (al- a'la 17)
sungguhpun ada benar kata2 ini, ingatlah wahai diriku,
"Tuhanmu tidak meninggalkanmu dan Dia tidak benci ".(adh-dhuha 3) -- maka janganlah aku pula meninggalkan Tuhanku dan nauzubillah..
"Adapun nikmat Tuhanmu, maka hendaklah engkau sebut-sebutkan (dan zahirkan) sebagai bersyukur kepadaNya." - adh dhuha 11
"Iaitu, kamu beriman kepada Allah dan rasulNya, serta kamu berjuang membela dan menegakkan agama Allah dengan harta benda dan diri kamu; yang demikian itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu, jika kamu hendak mengetahui (hakikat yang sebenarnya)." (as-shaff 11)
"Oleh itu berilah peringatan (kepada umat manusia dengan ajaran Al-Quran), kalau-kalau peringatan itu berguna (dan sudah tentu berguna).Kerana orang yang takut (melanggar perintah Allah) akan menerima peringatan itu. Tetapi orang yang malang akan menjauhkan diri daripadanya" ( al- a'la 9-11)
bila difikirkan balik, manfaat memberi lebih baik daripada tidak memberi, kerana kita tetap hidup di dunia ini, bersama ramai orang lain yang mungkin memerlukan nasihat dan pertolongan kita
- penghayatan aku terhadap ayat ini tidak lengkap
"Tetapi kamu memilih kehidupan dunia.Sedangkan akhirat itu lebih baik dan kekal" (al- a'la 17)
ada baiknya membaca, berdiam, mencari, menerima nasihat, tidur, menyendiri, dan berjenaka.tetapi amal ibadahku boleh ditambah. pasti boleh. tentu boleh. InsyaAllah. jika tidak, diamku akan jadi diam sahaja,tidurku hanya akan jadi tidur...bukankah itu sudah memilih dunia juga?
nasihatilah aku, ingatkanlah aku...
my solution (maybe a resolution?) : tawakal.. 'bagaikan berjalan di atas bara api'.. perlahan2 dan berhati2, insyaAllah. bak kata jimi housemateku "slow- slow" (byk dia guna perkataan ni,hehe).
*atas permintaan sahabat juga, elemen da'wah yang kelihatan mcm da'wah sikit. da'wah itu mcm2. i think living as a muslim is already da'wah on it's own. 'berjenaka' might turn out to be my way of da'wah!
seorang sahabat pernah menanyaku, adakah bermanfaat dia meminta keampunan Allah, sedangkan kesilapan itu diulanginya berulang kali.
wahai sahabatku, tahukah engkau mengapa kita membaca al-Quran sedangkan kita tidak memahaminya?
setiap perkara pasti ada permulaan,
mungkin kita tidak nampak apa manfaatnya sekarang, tapi hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.
marilah kita terus berusaha,
insyaAllah satu hari nanti, akan makbul doa2 kami.
"Maka sesungguhnya tiap2 kesusahan disertai kemudahan.
sesungguhnya tiap2 kesusahan disertai kemudahan.kemudian apabila engkau telah selesai, maka bersungguh-sungguhlah engkau berusaha. Dan kepada Tuhanmu sahaja hendaklah engkau memohon (al- insyirah 5-8)"
i dont listen to music
22 january - i made this entry intending to put it in my main blog. but later rejected the idea, later on made a somewhat similar entry there, and now i'm gonna post the original one here
i don listen to music
i dont follow what stars do
i dont listen well
i dont talk well
i dont mind missing out on anything
sometimes i dont like to communicate
i dont take criticism well
i dont take pressure well(trackback: insyaAllah now i am better at it, and will get better)
i dont take praises well
i'm afraid of hurting others' feelings, and mine too
i never liked making decisions that affect others alone
it's hard for me to make a decision
if i dont go all out, i dont come out at all..and mostly i dont
i'm no longer a competitor, i'm afraid i'm not good at sportsmanship, or taking care of those who dont
i generally remove myself from competition
i'm not up-to-date on most things people know of
i'm not as consistent as i like
when i'm down, usually there's nothing much that can be done
i dont support supporters well, i dont know what to do with them
i dont know what to do with peoplei have low self esteem at times, i lose confidence too
i have an ego that's very stubborn and hard to get rid of
i feel like i want attention subconsciously, but i really dont want attention
at 22, i still couldnt control my self fully..i cant do what's needed at the appopriate time
i can irritate others without even trying
i can hate, feel jealous, but i try to push them away the moment they come
i cant help feeling bad when bad things happen
i'm usually,was naturally indifferent to others. i dont have much sympathy for others, though i can empathise.though right now it's still much better than before(i was totally ignorant of others' feelings)
i just might be the most boring person i know..i dont have any interests nor an interesting character
i dont have anything i really actually want to buy.i tried wanting to buy...but it didnt happen
i might have only one serious interest: eating. others fluctuate. right now i'm trying to like some things..
i suffer depression too often
i dont like to talk..i usually make mistakes and i keep blabbering still
i dont follow rules or norms too well
i can follow some unnecessary stuff somehow
i have a stupid habit of following my moods too much
i might hate studying and running
i hate not getting what i want, i have to live with it though
i hate it when it's actually my fault
i hate having to react if it's someone else's fault
i'm not really interested in other people..usually i try really hard nowadays
i don listen to music
i dont follow what stars do
i dont listen well
i dont talk well
i dont mind missing out on anything
sometimes i dont like to communicate
i dont take criticism well
i dont take pressure well(trackback: insyaAllah now i am better at it, and will get better)
i dont take praises well
i'm afraid of hurting others' feelings, and mine too
i never liked making decisions that affect others alone
it's hard for me to make a decision
if i dont go all out, i dont come out at all..and mostly i dont
i'm no longer a competitor, i'm afraid i'm not good at sportsmanship, or taking care of those who dont
i generally remove myself from competition
i'm not up-to-date on most things people know of
i'm not as consistent as i like
when i'm down, usually there's nothing much that can be done
i dont support supporters well, i dont know what to do with them
i dont know what to do with peoplei have low self esteem at times, i lose confidence too
i have an ego that's very stubborn and hard to get rid of
i feel like i want attention subconsciously, but i really dont want attention
at 22, i still couldnt control my self fully..i cant do what's needed at the appopriate time
i can irritate others without even trying
i can hate, feel jealous, but i try to push them away the moment they come
i cant help feeling bad when bad things happen
i'm usually,was naturally indifferent to others. i dont have much sympathy for others, though i can empathise.though right now it's still much better than before(i was totally ignorant of others' feelings)
i just might be the most boring person i know..i dont have any interests nor an interesting character
i dont have anything i really actually want to buy.i tried wanting to buy...but it didnt happen
i might have only one serious interest: eating. others fluctuate. right now i'm trying to like some things..
i suffer depression too often
i dont like to talk..i usually make mistakes and i keep blabbering still
i dont follow rules or norms too well
i can follow some unnecessary stuff somehow
i have a stupid habit of following my moods too much
i might hate studying and running
i hate not getting what i want, i have to live with it though
i hate it when it's actually my fault
i hate having to react if it's someone else's fault
i'm not really interested in other people..usually i try really hard nowadays
Apabila
apabila
Message: Apabila hendak berbuat sesuatu(Bismillah)
Apabila memuji Allah(Subhanallah)
Apabila mengalami kesusahan(Ya' Allah)
Apabila memuji seseorang sesuatu(Masya' Allah)
Apabila mengucapkan terimakasih(Jazakallah)
Apabila bangun tidur(La' Illaha Illallah)
Apabila bersin(Al hamdu Lillah)
Apabila orang lain bersin(Yarhamukallah)
Apabila Insaf/memohon ampun(Astagh-Firullah)
Apabila mengangkat sumpah(Wallohiwabillahi)
Apabila menderma(Fi-Sabi Lillahi)
Apabila menyintai seseorangLihubbillah)
Apabila meminta diri(Fi' Amanillah)
Apabila mengalami masalah(Tawakkaltu ' alallah)
Apabila tertunainya sesuatu yang dihajati(Fatabarokallah)
Apabila memohon doa(Amin)
Apabila berkahwin(Amantu billah)
Apabila mendengar berita kematian(InnalillahiWa inna-ilahi rajiun)
i like this message, and i kept looking back at it at one time, to remember what they mean and are usually used, so i'd like to share this..insyaAllah may u be blessed and may these words be useful to you
i'm in a somewhat melancholy mood right now. it's depressing for me on a day like this, a den otlichniki when people bright,hardworking and lucky enough get their acknowledgement and are celebrated.. while i stay here.
it gets more depressing when you've just returned from a long expedition with only dissappointmentment and too many unfinished business in your place, and you kept wondering wheter you've wasted a few years just for some stupid principles, which are not stupid at all,unless you think of it in a different negative way, and you're stupid enough to let yourself think that way.
and somehow, i felt something different going there and back,i hope it's not what i think. i guess i've come in contact with too many girls or something, and plus that eerie weak feeling in me whenever i feel inferior, when i should be fighting.
Message: Apabila hendak berbuat sesuatu(Bismillah)
Apabila memuji Allah(Subhanallah)
Apabila mengalami kesusahan(Ya' Allah)
Apabila memuji seseorang sesuatu(Masya' Allah)
Apabila mengucapkan terimakasih(Jazakallah)
Apabila bangun tidur(La' Illaha Illallah)
Apabila bersin(Al hamdu Lillah)
Apabila orang lain bersin(Yarhamukallah)
Apabila Insaf/memohon ampun(Astagh-Firullah)
Apabila mengangkat sumpah(Wallohiwabillahi)
Apabila menderma(Fi-Sabi Lillahi)
Apabila menyintai seseorangLihubbillah)
Apabila meminta diri(Fi' Amanillah)
Apabila mengalami masalah(Tawakkaltu ' alallah)
Apabila tertunainya sesuatu yang dihajati(Fatabarokallah)
Apabila memohon doa(Amin)
Apabila berkahwin(Amantu billah)
Apabila mendengar berita kematian(InnalillahiWa inna-ilahi rajiun)
i like this message, and i kept looking back at it at one time, to remember what they mean and are usually used, so i'd like to share this..insyaAllah may u be blessed and may these words be useful to you
i'm in a somewhat melancholy mood right now. it's depressing for me on a day like this, a den otlichniki when people bright,hardworking and lucky enough get their acknowledgement and are celebrated.. while i stay here.
it gets more depressing when you've just returned from a long expedition with only dissappointmentment and too many unfinished business in your place, and you kept wondering wheter you've wasted a few years just for some stupid principles, which are not stupid at all,unless you think of it in a different negative way, and you're stupid enough to let yourself think that way.
and somehow, i felt something different going there and back,i hope it's not what i think. i guess i've come in contact with too many girls or something, and plus that eerie weak feeling in me whenever i feel inferior, when i should be fighting.
Friday, April 27, 2007
The road not taken
Oct 23, 2006
i dont seem to have much to talk about...must be the weather..must be the fasting..must be something on my mind NOT viable for an entry.i found my self at that fabled junction we read so much about during my SPM days..and i wonder which road should i take..usually the path i took was the road less taken..but this is different.now the question hangs like a silent scream..should i discontinue my lonely path..or should i walk the other way,and wonder what would have been had i chose the road not taken?
should i take the path i used to take..or should i take my chances?
i dont seem to have much to talk about...must be the weather..must be the fasting..must be something on my mind NOT viable for an entry.i found my self at that fabled junction we read so much about during my SPM days..and i wonder which road should i take..usually the path i took was the road less taken..but this is different.now the question hangs like a silent scream..should i discontinue my lonely path..or should i walk the other way,and wonder what would have been had i chose the road not taken?
should i take the path i used to take..or should i take my chances?
10 reasons why i dont need a girlfriend
21 Feb 2007
10 reasons why i dont need a girlfriend
1. money's tight!i dont have enough money yet,to get one would be a waste of time, energy and more importantly money!many people would agree with me on this,instead of a girlfriend,i'd rather buy a bike, or a ps3 once it's out..at least my money would be worthwhile.
2.just what's the benefits of a girlfriend? would i be a better husband?can i practise being a husband now?can we be like man and wife?is this like a masak-masak thing?can i play the wife..oh c'mon..ok..at least i wanna be the spoiled brat.hehe
3.hey..meeting outside+without marital ties-isnt that like a 'cheating on your wife' scenario?
4. i've got too many girlfriends..though at the current time it's not that many.why should i be friends with a girlfriend?should i make the others my enemies?but in that case they're too many.should i surrender?
5. i'm too irresistable.it's a known fact that i'm hot.too many girls are after me.if i let one get too close,there are bound to be others.it's hard enough as it is..
6. i'm too preoccupied with myselfi'm narcissistic.i look in the mirror,and the next thing u know i'll be staring at myself so long people are starting to line up before me.i wonder why some mirrors crack though..
7. i've got a computeri'm sorry,my heart is filled with love for this baby.u wont get anywhere close right now.i'm stedfast as a rock!
8. i can get too emotional sometimes.i write poems,cry everytime i see the sunset, cry again seeing that poordog licking ice off the road in peak winter, and cry yet again when my eyelids get stuck from the frozen tears..what happens when all that emotion get blown out of proportions in an even more emotional relationship?
9. i'm the type who zones out often, but i see couples..man- it's like outer space!
10. in my planet,girlfriends are synonymous for wives..there's actually no such thing
hehe just for laughs..
10 reasons why i dont need a girlfriend
1. money's tight!i dont have enough money yet,to get one would be a waste of time, energy and more importantly money!many people would agree with me on this,instead of a girlfriend,i'd rather buy a bike, or a ps3 once it's out..at least my money would be worthwhile.
2.just what's the benefits of a girlfriend? would i be a better husband?can i practise being a husband now?can we be like man and wife?is this like a masak-masak thing?can i play the wife..oh c'mon..ok..at least i wanna be the spoiled brat.hehe
3.hey..meeting outside+without marital ties-isnt that like a 'cheating on your wife' scenario?
4. i've got too many girlfriends..though at the current time it's not that many.why should i be friends with a girlfriend?should i make the others my enemies?but in that case they're too many.should i surrender?
5. i'm too irresistable.it's a known fact that i'm hot.too many girls are after me.if i let one get too close,there are bound to be others.it's hard enough as it is..
6. i'm too preoccupied with myselfi'm narcissistic.i look in the mirror,and the next thing u know i'll be staring at myself so long people are starting to line up before me.i wonder why some mirrors crack though..
7. i've got a computeri'm sorry,my heart is filled with love for this baby.u wont get anywhere close right now.i'm stedfast as a rock!
8. i can get too emotional sometimes.i write poems,cry everytime i see the sunset, cry again seeing that poordog licking ice off the road in peak winter, and cry yet again when my eyelids get stuck from the frozen tears..what happens when all that emotion get blown out of proportions in an even more emotional relationship?
9. i'm the type who zones out often, but i see couples..man- it's like outer space!
10. in my planet,girlfriends are synonymous for wives..there's actually no such thing
hehe just for laughs..
The Hardest Test
Monday, December 11, 2006, 5:47 a.m.
MasyaAllah, in front of me, everyday, are very attractive Malay Muslim women, who are not only pretty and beautiful, but bright, clever, lively and most importantly faithful to God. InsyaAllah, those who are lucky enough to be their husbands will be happy, and have no regrets on their choice. I myself wouldn’t regret if any of them should be fated to be my partner here and in the Hereafter, if I am lucky enough. Most probably I wouldn’t refuse any offer from them to be my wife, and there lies the crux of my problems.
If I was ready, I would have taken any of them as my wife. But now is not the time, and that becomes a problem when I meet them everyday, but have to wait years before I marry (insyaAllah). And what do we do now? I can’t court them, as it would only lead us nearer to zina… and Allah s.w.t. states “la taqrabbun zina” – do not come near to zina (adultery?- sorry if there are mistranslations).
This is a problem not just for me, but for every young people learning in higher institutions nowadays. That’s why I respect those who marry now, because I can’t.
We, who haven’t married, should not do anything that could lead to sex, should not talk in a way that could arouse it, should not contact each other that way, lest it could lead to sexual thoughts about the other party. Thus the hormones and lust argues with this, and this torments my mind at times. I try to find the way all the time, Alhamdulillah, God has given me a mind just like any human, which could think and find a way. He has given me faith and taqwa, and my prayers always contain the request for Allah to show me the straight path, the path of those He has bestowed His grace, and not the path of those who He will show His wrath, or those who go astray – lest I forget to ask for it later.
InsyaAllah, I will try my best and follow this path.
I never go too far in any relationship with any girl I can marry. I know she’s attractive and all that. But I think twice, and many times before I actually will bend the rules, and I especially don’t want to break any rules of God.
This is a problem, as many guys will go after such girls, and I can’t blame them. Many have gone that way, many have found their partners who they want to marry, a non-official system of booking before marital relationships, maybe. And here I am. Call me stupid, call me a loser. I don’t know. All I know is I try my best to do what’s right, and not do what’s wrong by God, and to my best keep the faith that Allah has planned everything for me, and I will find the perfect partner for me, who I will love for Allah, in his grace, forever, if not here in this world, then in the Hereafter, insyaAllah.
I hope I don’t break any hearts, including mine…
Sunday, February 18, 2007
How can it be, that a few months later, and I still have the same problems? I wonder if this has been the case for the past few years, ever since I found out what was so interesting about girls was. I read some articles on the same subject, and thought about making a similar article. Then I remembered this article I made last December, read it again, and found precisely the words I was looking for-again, maybe even better put than I ever could today. O God, give me strength..
MasyaAllah, in front of me, everyday, are very attractive Malay Muslim women, who are not only pretty and beautiful, but bright, clever, lively and most importantly faithful to God. InsyaAllah, those who are lucky enough to be their husbands will be happy, and have no regrets on their choice. I myself wouldn’t regret if any of them should be fated to be my partner here and in the Hereafter, if I am lucky enough. Most probably I wouldn’t refuse any offer from them to be my wife, and there lies the crux of my problems.
If I was ready, I would have taken any of them as my wife. But now is not the time, and that becomes a problem when I meet them everyday, but have to wait years before I marry (insyaAllah). And what do we do now? I can’t court them, as it would only lead us nearer to zina… and Allah s.w.t. states “la taqrabbun zina” – do not come near to zina (adultery?- sorry if there are mistranslations).
This is a problem not just for me, but for every young people learning in higher institutions nowadays. That’s why I respect those who marry now, because I can’t.
We, who haven’t married, should not do anything that could lead to sex, should not talk in a way that could arouse it, should not contact each other that way, lest it could lead to sexual thoughts about the other party. Thus the hormones and lust argues with this, and this torments my mind at times. I try to find the way all the time, Alhamdulillah, God has given me a mind just like any human, which could think and find a way. He has given me faith and taqwa, and my prayers always contain the request for Allah to show me the straight path, the path of those He has bestowed His grace, and not the path of those who He will show His wrath, or those who go astray – lest I forget to ask for it later.
InsyaAllah, I will try my best and follow this path.
I never go too far in any relationship with any girl I can marry. I know she’s attractive and all that. But I think twice, and many times before I actually will bend the rules, and I especially don’t want to break any rules of God.
This is a problem, as many guys will go after such girls, and I can’t blame them. Many have gone that way, many have found their partners who they want to marry, a non-official system of booking before marital relationships, maybe. And here I am. Call me stupid, call me a loser. I don’t know. All I know is I try my best to do what’s right, and not do what’s wrong by God, and to my best keep the faith that Allah has planned everything for me, and I will find the perfect partner for me, who I will love for Allah, in his grace, forever, if not here in this world, then in the Hereafter, insyaAllah.
I hope I don’t break any hearts, including mine…
Sunday, February 18, 2007
How can it be, that a few months later, and I still have the same problems? I wonder if this has been the case for the past few years, ever since I found out what was so interesting about girls was. I read some articles on the same subject, and thought about making a similar article. Then I remembered this article I made last December, read it again, and found precisely the words I was looking for-again, maybe even better put than I ever could today. O God, give me strength..
Mukadimah
Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
This blog was created by me after months of pondering, and asking myself. I am a 22 year old Muslim, a Malaysian by nationality, and a student studying overseas. I already have another blog, before this I thought that it was adequate, but later on I realized that I couldn’t write what I am about to write here, on the base of anonymity, because of many things.
Here, I will put what my heart tells me, insyaAllah. I will do it, so that I can remind myself of why I’m here, what my real aims are, how I should live and think as a Muslim, and have a greater conscience in life, for the benefit of me, and others who happen to stumble on this blog, so that we may become better, as Muslims, as Allah’s slaves.
Why the anonymity?-Because I want to keep my honesty, and humility, so that I would not let pride get in the way of my way of life (though in some ways, it still wont help unless really remove pride from my heart fully,insyaAllah, maybe one day I can); and so that I can say what I want without hurting others. I can save their face, save mine too, and also talk about my own misgivings and weaknesses.something I would not do without anonymity.
I might blabber a lot, like right now, but that’s the whole point. Of course I’ll try not to do that too much. Part of me wants others to read this too so they may benefit from my writings, and think of what to do with their own lives. Another part is still afraid of me showing my vulnerable side, my mistakes and such, to others, because experience tells me that I should never show my weaknesses. Maybe I won’t tell too much, that’s up to me, especially if it doesn’t benefit anybody. This anonymity isn’t that secure anyway.
I am not really that good or active a da’ie( someone who spreads Islam). Some bloggers are active da’ies, some listen to Islamic lectures regularly, some read Islamic books constantly. I am talking about only the da’wah aspects, not ibadah as a whole. But I am lacking in both. I don’t do what I wrote just now as much as I could or should have, so I wanted this to be something that increases my da’wah activities.As a human, I have so many questions, and I try to find the answers, like everyone else.
As a start, I will put some of my previous writings I kept but never showed others.
This blog was created by me after months of pondering, and asking myself. I am a 22 year old Muslim, a Malaysian by nationality, and a student studying overseas. I already have another blog, before this I thought that it was adequate, but later on I realized that I couldn’t write what I am about to write here, on the base of anonymity, because of many things.
Here, I will put what my heart tells me, insyaAllah. I will do it, so that I can remind myself of why I’m here, what my real aims are, how I should live and think as a Muslim, and have a greater conscience in life, for the benefit of me, and others who happen to stumble on this blog, so that we may become better, as Muslims, as Allah’s slaves.
Why the anonymity?-Because I want to keep my honesty, and humility, so that I would not let pride get in the way of my way of life (though in some ways, it still wont help unless really remove pride from my heart fully,insyaAllah, maybe one day I can); and so that I can say what I want without hurting others. I can save their face, save mine too, and also talk about my own misgivings and weaknesses.something I would not do without anonymity.
I might blabber a lot, like right now, but that’s the whole point. Of course I’ll try not to do that too much. Part of me wants others to read this too so they may benefit from my writings, and think of what to do with their own lives. Another part is still afraid of me showing my vulnerable side, my mistakes and such, to others, because experience tells me that I should never show my weaknesses. Maybe I won’t tell too much, that’s up to me, especially if it doesn’t benefit anybody. This anonymity isn’t that secure anyway.
I am not really that good or active a da’ie( someone who spreads Islam). Some bloggers are active da’ies, some listen to Islamic lectures regularly, some read Islamic books constantly. I am talking about only the da’wah aspects, not ibadah as a whole. But I am lacking in both. I don’t do what I wrote just now as much as I could or should have, so I wanted this to be something that increases my da’wah activities.As a human, I have so many questions, and I try to find the answers, like everyone else.
As a start, I will put some of my previous writings I kept but never showed others.
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