thinking..

People think too much. I think too much. But some things we still wont get, no matter how much we think about it. Wallahualam, maybe it's Allah s.w.t's will, his test and also his mercy - since we get no answer, we have to be satisfied with our own answers,and respect others' opinions ; since no one thinks alike, we get to choose what we think is best for us, while His prophets (p.b.u.t.) and the religion they bring guides us to what's wrong and what's right.
What I'm about to tell is purely my opinion, and is not something i ask you to follow, nor do i think it's best or better for you, or anyone.
I've always been wondering about romantic relationshps before marriage. Almost everyone my age group I know thinks about it every once in a while. Lumrah alam.
My opinion? Although it's hard, I dont want it to happen. Because I think it's not right.(of course you'll know if you read my previous posts).
But some thinngs can make shake this foundation i made. Things like a sudden crush, competition, the feeling that the other party might like me too, and yet again, my nafs; and finally - I had to add this - that fear that i might lose out on the love of my life.*sigh* It's not easy being a bachelor for too long.
About losing chances, i think i have lost a lot of them. Many of my crushes are not simply that. I knew them, had loads of chances to contact them, connect with them, but most of the time i didnt. I could have come up to them and speak up. I could have contact them through sms, email, YM, the works, but i didnt think long distance relationships are likely to last. I could have tried harder, what Malays say 'tackle' the girls. But each time, Alhamdulillah I kept thinking that it's wrong. There were chances when i could have been together with them, just the 2 of us, so that we could know each other, for instance recently I nearly sat near a girl, because there were no more places in the bus to the destination (which took hours). But I didn't. Some people might think i might regret these things, but no, when i think about it, I don't. Someone teased me, saying I'm just too scared. In a way, I am scared. I fear what muslims should fear. Never think of other fears. I believe I have none. If people still want to think so, so be it. There was a time when I was less fearful of Allah, when I actually did 'mengorat' someone. But it was a long time ago. I was younger, and dumber both ways - in doing that, and in wooing a girl. Nevertheless the experience taught me a lot, and gave me time to think.

Why don't i regret them still, when people talk about missing chances? I think those are manipulative words of the non-believers. Some chances should never be missed, as time never goes back. But this is wrong. Believe in Allah, believe that it's best for us. Maybe that other person is not meant for us, maybe he or she is, but it isn't apparent yet. Don't think too much about it, as the Quran already states that good men are for good women and vice versa. Our current world is a test for us. Maybe we might not even meet our true partner now, but Allah has arranged that meeting later, if not in this world, then in the Hereafter. If you are sceptical while reading this, you might think this is sad, but if you truly believe, then this is what we truly desire, in malay - seorang bidadari syurga.